The elephant in the room is a comment we are hearing often in the media and then they are usually referring to the economy. However in my case I am referring to my pregnancy. I say this because either 1) I feel like the elephant in the room - as I clamber across a room up up the stairs - very focused on not losing my balance - something I am very prone to these days.
And then there is 2) I am trying to ignore the elephant in the room - which is the third trimester looming ahead of me like a huge cavern filled with pits and snakes and I have to navigate it - in the dark.
I am already so uncomfortable that I am flinching daily, sometimes hourly, at the idea of another 86 days till I can start counting the days I am overdue. I have almost always gone early or on time but this time I am expecting to go over as I have typically been induced - either because I was having contractions to no end - with no progress so at about 38+ weeks - the doctor would heed my pleading and the water would be broken with a baby in about 8 - 10 hours. This time, however, we have chosen a midwife for our care and delivery and there will be no breaking of water at 38+ weeks unless there is great medical necessity of it. The certainly of this is like the that of the stone the ten commandments were etched in. Even after Moses hurled it in anger and broke it - it was still stone.
So the tiny flickering light that I am using to get through this yawning cavern of discomfort, and yes even of fear, is focusing on today. Just getting through today as tomorrow might be different. Tomorrow I might have more energy and perhaps less pain. Or it might be worse. But today is all I have and I cannot know what tomorrow brings and no amount of worry will change it. Prayer will help, but worry and fretting will not.